Oh, Pregnancy.

Tuesday night was one of the hardest nights of this pregnancy (so far). I could even say it might have been worse than the three day contractions fiasco.
It was one of those nights I stared at my belly asking baby to please please please quit moving so much so mommy could attempt to get some rest. I felt so guilty asking my sweet little alien to just stop for my sake, but at the same time I was in so much pain my sanity was shot. I'm still convinced my child was poking and punching my cervix for roughly 6 hours straight. It was similar to getting many pap smears, ugh. To make it worse, I'm pretty sure I had an anxiety attack in the middle of it all. My poor husband had passed out extra early (like 6pm early) and I was finally beginning to relax enough to fall asleep (about 8:20).....when my phone rang. Of course I ignored it and made an attempt to become relaxed again. Didn't happen. What did happen was a VERY awake baby and some seriously awful pains. About 30min later I receive a text saying that I should be ashamed of myself (for not answering the phone earlier). Mind you it is almost 9pm on a Tuesday night and they knew my husband had to be up before 5am the next morning. This sent me into hysterics. How could a 52 yr old man dare to tell me I should be ashamed of myself for not answering a phone call after 8pm on a week night?! And all because he wanted me to give someone else some encouragement. Where was my encouragement? Yea, I lost it. Full on lost it. I have to admit I sent a pretty nasty text back. It felt well deserved. Then I left the room to try not to wake my husband, cried it out and decided it was time to call L&D....especially now that I was shaking uncontrollably AND still in pain. The nurse told me the same thing they always do, the advice I had already followed that hadn't worked. Feeling defeated, I just went back and sat in bed for a few more hours until I was able to fall asleep.

Surprisingly, the next day I ran off of very minimal sleep editing pictures and actually felt pretty alright. At one point, little man got the hiccups and I just sat here watching my belly jump every few seconds. It was beautiful. I even took a little video. As some people say, my heart was so full. I was just so thankful. Today was much the same. Except, this morning my sweet husband put the cat in the bathroom so that he wouldn't wake me after he left for PT. So, I was able to catch up on that sleep I so desperately needed. I had a little melon with my breakfast simply because I know little man seems to love it and later giggled as it seemed like he was trying to wedge his bum under my ribs.

There is just something about pregnancy that's crazy. Just kidding, everything about it is crazy. Its painful and emotional and even though I'm not sure that I want to do this again for quite some time, I am so thankful for the baby i'm currently housing. -Even if I'm convinced he's trying to kill me half of the time. I hope that everyone with tough pregnancies can find the silver lining and enjoy the magic of it while it lasts. I could have it SO much worse and i'm certainly ready for it to be over, but I am still SO thankful and trying to always find that silver lining.